Hi!
It doesn't matter how much time you've already wasted, or how behind you are on all of your shit - it's not too late to get your shit together and start taking things into a higher gear. In fact if we're being honest, this is a great time for it.
While the world, the economy, our society is slowly opening back up - we're going to need as many people as possible getting their act together and helping out. This can only be done if we can get our own shit together first.
Before we get into this, I want to tell you a few things that I've found to be true:
First: You are absolutely able to get organized, get your habits in control, and start doing better. It's true. It doesn't matter how many times you've disappointed yourself by letting your habits fall away. Nor does it matter how many times you've started something and abandoned it. You can do this.
Second: You are more valuable than you think you are. When we spend a lot of time depressed, anxious, powerless, bitter, we often get into this idea that we're not needed, or that we're some kind of wet blanket on society. We think that we're just dead weight. It might be true that you're not operating at your full capacity right now, but we need you anyway. The stronger and more clear you become, the more helpful you can be to bringing our world back online.
I've made a quick guide for you that you can use to start getting your habits back in order so that you can get organized and productive. Use this to start developing the self-control that you need.
The Coach's Guide for Getting your Shit Together
(I call it that because these are the most important ideas that emerge in coaching sessions.)
Here's how this will go, and this is the TL;DR:
1_ Stop being an asshole to yourself. 2_ Get as clear as you can on your priorities. 3_ Commit to a single daily action. 4_ Keep your word to yourself.
I will speak a little strongly in this one, because I realize that this might be my only shot at helping you get back on the track toward manifesting your higher potential. If I do, please know that I speak to you from a place deep respect, and as someone who was once seriously depressed and had no self-control.
1_ Stop being an asshole to yourself.
As a rule, however you treat is yourself is how you are being treated. Are you treating yourself respectfully? If not, then you're constantly on the receiving end of disrespect. This is how you lose all of your will-power, your energy, in friction.
Have you ever seen a situation where the boss hates his crew and the crew hate their boss? Or between a parent and a child, but the parent's super mean and the child is super disobedient? It's hellish isn't it? Well that's what it's like for most of us inside of our own psyschology!
If you wish to reclaim your power and get into a higher gear, this can only be achieved if you stop being an asshole to yourself.
Instead be respectful to yourself.
You can be respectful AND firm. Being nice, loving, or respectful doesn't mean that you let yourself get away with bad behaviour, or that you'll end up being lazy. You're not lazy. If you appear to be lazy it's because you push yourself so hard that you never give yourself a chance to fully recover.
Of course this might be a big change, and might take some practice, some time. But you can commit to being respectful to yourself. Choose that now. Commit to that now.
A harmonious relationship with yourself that's based in respect will remove all the self-sabotage that you experience and instead will help you move forward congruently.
Here's what to do:
- Say aloud "I hereby commit to creating a respectful, harmonious relationship with myself. I intend to make sure that all of my needs are met as I continue to grow and develop myself." - Say aloud "From now on I accept that no matter what, I always deserve more respect."
2_ Get as clear as you can on your priorities.
Have you taken some time to figure out what your priorities are? If we're confused about our priorities, then by definition it becomes impossible to move forward. We don't know which way forward even is!
There's further confusion if we're trying to live our lives in order to make someone else happy. Who's approval are we trying to win? Who are we trying to prove ourselves to? Who are we trying to impress?
- Ask yourself: How would I live my life, if I were free to live exactly as I want, starting today? That's the real shit right there! Write down your answers somewhere. What would you do? What would you create?
- Ask yourself: Who's approval, respect, or admiration am I trying to win over? It's time to be honest. Who are these people you're trying to prove yourself to? Once you figure it out, let all of that go. Just let it fall away. Give it up. Plug all of that back into yourself.
3_ Commit to a single daily action.
Now we can start really moving.
What is a single action that you can start taking every day, or at least 5 days per week? Choose something that would nourish you, but would also be attractive enough that you wouldn't have to force yourself to do it.
For example you could commit to spending 5-10 minutes every day:
- meditating - journalling - playing music - listening to music - drawing - walking/jogging/biking
This is NOT something that you'll punish yourself with. Instead this should be something that you sincerely love to do, and it also leaves you feeling better than before you did it. It should be something that if you did it every day for 60 days, you would have increased wellness and energy in your life.
Choose that one thing, and commit to it. Set a particular time to do it. Have all the necessary equipment ready for when the time comes.
4_ Make a promise to yourself and keep it.
This is probably my favourite part.
I know that you and I have made so many promises to ourselves about what we'd do, and then we failed to live up to that commitment. It hurts to disappoint ourselves. And it hurts to get back up and try again.
But you simply cannot get your shit into a higher gear unless you master this ability to make a promise to yourself and keep it. This is how we move ourselves forward. This is how we create real traction in our lives.
When the time comes to do the thing, you will feel a strong temptation to do something else. This is to be expected. It's part of the game.
Keep this in mind: No matter how persuasive your mind is in suggesting something else to do - keeping your promise to do this one thing for 5 minutes is how you finally start connecting your word to your action. Nothing is more important than connecting your word to your action.
The stronger this connection, the more powerful you grow. It's as simple as that.
Offer your very best effort to keep your promise. And at the same time, keep your promise minimal! Just 5-10 minutes. You can do more if you want, but you must do at least that much.
Do this for even just a week, and you'll feel a substantial shift in your mood, your energy, and your outlook. Try it and see!
I hope this helps! I'm around if anything needs clarification.
If you need even more support, then you should definitely check THIS out.
All the best!
Brent Huras